Attending Church

These days, the reputation of religion in general seems to be suffering. Some of the damage is self-inflicted (whether by Christians, Muslims, or even Buddhists) and some comes from outside. For example, there is a strain of thought called the New Atheism. It is a ridiculous name that irresistibly reminds me of a clip from the film L.A. Story.

I suppose the reason that I don't support the stance of New Atheists like Richard Dawkins, which is to confront and nullify the influence of religion wherever they find it, is my firm belief that they don't have a logical, consistent philosophy themselves. Because no one does. The best we can do is an approximation that helps us live as we believe that we should.


For example, the most congenial philosophy that I've found is Utilitarianism. It states that the moral value of an act depends on the net happiness it generates. By "net happiness" I mean the amount that's left after subtracting any unhappiness that the action causes. I'm quite willing to believe this, though no-one has found a way to measure happiness. That is enough to rob this promising philosophy of any claim to being logical and consistent, even before the Germans got started on it. (Nietzsche: "Humanity does not strive after happiness; only the English do.")

At other times, Stoicism provides advice as to how I should behave. It tells me that I should resist wrong actions and beliefs, whatever the result. It is not a very utilitarian attitude!

I switch from one philosophy to another depending on which seems "right" for the situation that I am in. Certain philosophies just seem appropriate for certain sets of circumstance. In other words, I am, as Robert Heinlein said that all men are, "not a rational animal" but "a rationalizing animal."

This brings me to my recent decision to attend church. I was raised as a Lutheran and considered myself a member in good standing of a culture and tradition that is Christian, even though I was not a Christian. For example, I remember a high school student who came to me for tutoring in English. He decided that he wanted to read Milton's Paradise Lost, but had no understanding of Christian belief. Our classes were as much about prophecy, original sin, salvation, demonology, the relation of Judaism and Christianity, and of the Old and New Testaments as they were about Puritans, blank verse, and the epic tradition. I relished the irony that I was teaching Christianity and, since our classes were on Sunday mornings, I referred to them as my "Sunday School" classes.

Similarly, when I wrote my book on poetry (The Complete Poetry Guide and Workbook), I had to include poems that are explicitly Christian and discuss their meaning. I knew that we cannot understand Western Culture or its expression in art without understanding its religious tradition, whether or not we share it.

Nevertheless, as a teenager, I resented my family's pressure to attend church. From the time I left home until this year, I have not attended, nor seriously considered attending.

What changed was that, two years ago, my wife became a Christian. It filled a hole in her life, gave her membership in a strong community, and made her much happier. As a good Utilitarian, how could I disapprove? As a supportive husband, how could I help? I could not, at the time, make a habit of attending with her because the services were conducted in Korean, which I do not speak. However, when she asked me to help her find a closer church to attend, I found a Lutheran church that seemed like a good group and have attended it with her since.

I don't think I am being hypocritical by going to church, even though I can't treat the Apostle's Creed as a checklist of my own beliefs. I see no harm in taking time in the week to participate in rituals that empty my mind of current concerns. I see no harm in thinking about community, forgiveness, and right behaviour. I appreciate that each service ends with "Remember the poor." Nor do I feel set apart by my disbelief since I share that with many who are better believers than I am; see Mark 9:24 for proof.

To conclude, I now think of my attendance at our local church much as Scrooge's nephew thought of Christmas in Dickens' Christmas Carol.

"But I am sure I have always thought of [it]...as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.  And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"